I am taking a fabulous memoir writing course with Marilyn Bousquin. One of our exercises was exploring our inner critic. I know an inner critic is inherent with being human, although must admit wishing we could bypass that reality.

Here is a write I did during one of our on-line classes.

“My inner critic is an awful woman – a bully. She effectively shuts me down with my writing. She often says things like, “Don’t be ridiculous, you can’t write,” and/or, “Just give up. You will never be published.” Her appearance never changes. She dresses in a navy pleated skirt, white blouse, and unbuttoned navy sweater. Like one of the uniforms I wore at Catholic School. She has on black tights and very sensible brown leather shoes. The shoes my father used to make me wear to school. I hated those shoes. Lace up plain brown shoes. Special order. [Not at all like my stylish winter boots shown in the photo. Hopefully you can envision their former beauty – we had quite the winter].

Tears streaming down my face, “Please daddy I don’t want to wear these shoes. Please!” His response, always, “You are going to wear those shoes! It is important your feet keep their shape.”

My inner critic wears thick glasses – so thick her eyes look huge when I glance at her. She doesn’t sleep, just dozes, always ready to jump up and scold me for a thought or action. She is relentless and has been highly successful in limiting my life.”

After that write, I decided to name her Nerdy Nellie. I have no idea where that came from and apologies to friends named Nellie.

I realize Nerdy Nellie wants me to live a fictional life – not give voice to my authentic self. I sent her on a long cruise in choppy seas.

Comments most welcome. If comfortable, I welcome knowing how you handle your inner critic and if she/he has a name? Or anything that came to mind as you read this musing.

Happy Sunday to you – My favorite day of the week.